Instead of immediately going on the defensive and arguing with a parent you can say "Thank you for your concern and for bringing that to my attention." Then you could discuss the things the child does well before discussing behavior or learning that is lacking. This way you have acknowledged the parent's legitimate concerns. In doing this you haven't set things up so the parent feels the need to strike back. Because you have done the right thing in the first place, you don't feel uncomfortable.
I agree with the author, saying "I'm sorry that happened" will go a long way with parents. It also gives us the opportunity to follow up with, "I want to work with you and the student to make sure that doesn't happen again."
This chapter really made me stop and think. We all know that there are people who tend to be confrontational. They love to argue just for the sake of arguing. I never really thought about the fact that it doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong they just enjoy the opportunity to battle. I liked the author’s suggestion to simply say, “I’m sorry that happened” when dealing with people such as this. Pointing out positive characteristics about a child before focusing on a negative also helps. This allows the parent to know that you have taken the time to get to know his/her child and that you do care about them. It is also best to focus on only one or two things to work on at a time so that parents don’t become overwhelmed.
I agree that it is important not to lump all students together when dealing with situations that arise. I can remember being disheartened by teachers who scolded the whole class for something that only one or two students did. Considering who is “most comfortable and who is least comfortable” can aid in the decision making.
This chapter made me laugh. I go to daycare to pick up Jaxon and a sign read, "You must pay tuition today. It's late!!!" I know I've paid it and I still go and check the checkbook to make sure...Why? It's funny because they caught so many parents attention but probably not the one who is actually late on tuition!
I have to always think twice when I get ugly notes from parents. I am a parent and I try and see their point. I don't always agree with what they are saying but there's never an argument because it's a lose/lose situation. Some parents are confrontational and are rarely happy about anything. Their child is in my hands! I had a parent this year that didn't like anything about me or our school. I approached her with positive things about her child and had to earn her respect and love!! (Of course, I was screaming in my head. HA!) By the end of the year, I learned that she had many issues herself. I wasn't the problem, she had major problems with herself. We don't have any idea what is going on in these homes and lives that we deal with everyday. I try and remember that daily~ :)
I don't think it's fair at all for teachers to make the entire class pay for what one or two children do! I can remember being in 7th grade like it was yesterday. I had a teacher who punished us all for what one kid did on a daily basis. We had to bring copy paper to school daily just to get rewarded...Hello, what kind of teaching strategy was that? It made the rest of us want to give up and stop trying. I hated school that year! "What will the best people think?" is a great question to ask ourselves when facing a challenging situation.
Arguing never gets you anywhere. And I think it's disrespectful when parents do it. Most parents that do it a lot are really good at it, so it's a lost cause. Most of them just want someone to listen to what they have to say. It makes me sad to think of parents that think their child can do no wrong. I just think, "Boy, do they have a lot to learn!" We have to deal with the child for just K-5, but that parent has to deal with them forever. Just think of the damage the are doing. Some just don't get it that we are working in the best interest of ALL students and it's not that we are picking on their child.
Candi- I know you remember 7th grade like it was yesterday, because it was yesterday -haha!
I love this chapter because we have several confrontational parents at our school. Using the phrase, "I am sorry that happened" will be very effective for future occurances. I also plan to use Monroe's extended phrase in the future!!! Thanks, Monroe!
This blogspot will be used to discuss Todd Whitaker's book, 'What Great Teachers Do Differently'. The book describes the beliefs, behaviors, attitudes, and interactions that form the fabric of life in our best classrooms and schools. It focuses on the specific things that great teachers do...that others do not.
Instead of immediately going on the defensive and arguing with a parent you can say "Thank you for your concern and for bringing that to my attention." Then you could discuss the things the child does well before discussing behavior or learning that is lacking. This way you have acknowledged the parent's legitimate concerns. In doing this you haven't set things up so the parent feels the need to strike back. Because you have done the right thing in the first place, you don't feel uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the author, saying "I'm sorry that happened" will go a long way with parents. It also gives us the opportunity to follow up with, "I want to work with you and the student to make sure that doesn't happen again."
ReplyDeleteThis chapter really made me stop and think. We all know that there are people who tend to be confrontational. They love to argue just for the sake of arguing. I never really thought about the fact that it doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong they just enjoy the opportunity to battle. I liked the author’s suggestion to simply say, “I’m sorry that happened” when dealing with people such as this. Pointing out positive characteristics about a child before focusing on a negative also helps. This allows the parent to know that you have taken the time to get to know his/her child and that you do care about them. It is also best to focus on only one or two things to work on at a time so that parents don’t become overwhelmed.
ReplyDeleteI agree that it is important not to lump all students together when dealing with situations that arise. I can remember being disheartened by teachers who scolded the whole class for something that only one or two students did. Considering who is “most comfortable and who is least comfortable” can aid in the decision making.
This chapter made me laugh. I go to daycare to pick up Jaxon and a sign read, "You must pay tuition today. It's late!!!" I know I've paid it and I still go and check the checkbook to make sure...Why? It's funny because they caught so many parents attention but probably not the one who is actually late on tuition!
ReplyDeleteI have to always think twice when I get ugly notes from parents. I am a parent and I try and see their point. I don't always agree with what they are saying but there's never an argument because it's a lose/lose situation. Some parents are confrontational and are rarely happy about anything. Their child is in my hands! I had a parent this year that didn't like anything about me or our school. I approached her with positive things about her child and had to earn her respect and love!! (Of course, I was screaming in my head. HA!) By the end of the year, I learned that she had many issues herself. I wasn't the problem, she had major problems with herself. We don't have any idea what is going on in these homes and lives that we deal with everyday. I try and remember that daily~ :)
I don't think it's fair at all for teachers to make the entire class pay for what one or two children do! I can remember being in 7th grade like it was yesterday. I had a teacher who punished us all for what one kid did on a daily basis. We had to bring copy paper to school daily just to get rewarded...Hello, what kind of teaching strategy was that? It made the rest of us want to give up and stop trying. I hated school that year! "What will the best people think?" is a great question to ask ourselves when facing a challenging situation.
Arguing never gets you anywhere. And I think it's disrespectful when parents do it. Most parents that do it a lot are really good at it, so it's a lost cause. Most of them just want someone to listen to what they have to say. It makes me sad to think of parents that think their child can do no wrong. I just think, "Boy, do they have a lot to learn!" We have to deal with the child for just K-5, but that parent has to deal with them forever. Just think of the damage the are doing. Some just don't get it that we are working in the best interest of ALL students and it's not that we are picking on their child.
ReplyDeleteCandi- I know you remember 7th grade like it was yesterday, because it was yesterday -haha!
ReplyDeleteI love this chapter because we have several confrontational parents at our school. Using the phrase, "I am sorry that happened" will be very effective for future occurances. I also plan to use Monroe's extended phrase in the future!!! Thanks, Monroe!